Maletch Cracks Me Up!

OK, so here are some quotes of the week...

We have Maletch's Power Wheels (a motorized quad for riding) 'parked' (wedged) between a few big toys in our Master bedroom (for storage when not in use).
He climbed on it and said, "I'm stuck, I'm too stuck, I can't ride it, I can't go!"
Me: "Yeah honey, we don't have enough space for you to ride it in here."
Maletch: "How about I go outside?"

When Maletch gets fussy or acts up we always ask, "Do you want to go nite-nite?" He only gets fussy when he is tired, so he usually agrees, "Yes, I'm tired, I go nite nite."
One day playing with Maletch, I injured my neck, I was in a lot of pain, but I was trying to hide it. I didn't realize that I was scrunching my face or that Maletch was looking, and I guess he interpreted that as a "fussy face" (like I was going to cry) because he asked, "Mommy do you wanna go nite-nite?"

When Grandma and Pops Pollard were visiting: we were getting ready to take Maletch over to the playground.
I said, "Wait Maletch, I'm gonna get your jacket!" When I went upstairs, Maletch turned to Pops
and asked, "Where's your jacket?"
Pops said, "It's in the car."
Maletch replied, "I'll go get it!"
Grandma and Pops were so shocked they laughed about this conversation for a while! It was funny hearing pops tell it, "He asked me where my jacket was," .... "then he offered to go get it when I told him it was in the car!"

Maletch: "Have some cookies please?"
Me: "No, we have to eat lunch first, maybe after lunch."
Maletch: "Have cookies first please?"
Me: "Well if we have cookies first, you won't want to eat your lunch."
Maletch: "Yeah, I do."

We pulled into a store parking lot,
Maletch asked, "Where are the people?"
Me: "What people?"
Maletch: "Oh, there is everybody!" (he said it with such excitement)
I had to turn around in the car to see who he was so excited about, 'who is everybody?' He was pointing to a large group of people walking out of the store.

This is probably more cute than funny (to read), although it is both in person...
We bought Maletch his own set of realistic toy keys to hang on our key rack (next to ours) since one of our sets went missing.... He frequently asks me to get them down so he can go bye-bye (his "going to work routine") Lately, he heads for the door, "Bye bye mommy." I always oblige by asking, "Where are you going?" He replies, "I'm going to work!" he heads off, but then, turns around to get his things to take with him. I watch as he wanders around "packing" his things. He says, "I take my juice, and I take Mcqueen." Then he asks, "Where is my milk?" and "Hmm... let's see, I need Thomas." It is so cute watching him pack for his pretend adventure, and it is interesting to see what he thinks he 'needs' for work, hehe.
When we are actually going someplace, he knows the 'real' packing list very well, and he always helps me with it. He will "remind" me to get his shoes, jacket, juice, crackers, and mommy's shoes, mommy's jacket, mommy's soda, mommy's purse, the diaper bag, and of course the keys. And he walks around and helps me grab everything while announcing "I get the ___." He also packs his own toys now too (I never have to do it or ask him to). He even reminds me that we need to change his diaper before we leave.

This had me and John rolling on the floor tonight..
Daddy: "Maletch, do you want some green beans and some yogurt?"
Maletch: "Yes please."
Daddy brought it over to him.
Maletch: "No, it's too late."
Daddy: "What?"
Maletch: "It's too late, it's nite-nite time!"
Daddy was trying not to laugh, but he was giggling with his hand in front of his face.
Maletch: "I'm not laughing, it's not funny."