Maletch: "Vultures are not nice birds."
Me: "Yeah, you're right. Some birds are nice and some are not nice, like Vultures. Let's think of some birds that are nice; I think Hummingbirds, Blue Jays, and Parrots are nice."
Maletch: "Yeah those are nice, but Vultures are not. They look like this.." (then he did an imitation making a mean face with mean eyes- it was funny). Then he asked, "There are a lot of Vultures, huh?"
Me: "A lot in the world?"
Maletch: "Yeah, there are a lot of Vultures in the world, huh?"
Me: "Yeah, I suppose."
Maletch: "How many Vultures are there mommy?"
I already know I can't get away with just an "I don't know" answer, so I shoot with...
Me: "I don't know because I can't see them all, so I can't count them."
Maletch: "Why can't you see them all?"
Me: "Well because some are very far away and the world is big so I can't see them all."
Bad Guys:
Maletch: "Mommy, why do some bad guys do bad things?"
Me: "I don't know."
Maletch: "Why don't you know?"
Me: "Well because I am not a bad guy, so I don't know why they do the things they do."
This answer has never satisfied him because he has asked me this numerous times and he REALLY wants a better answer. I understand him wanting to understand WHY there is evil in the world- that is a hard thing to just accept. I guess I don't understand it myself. If anyone knows a good way to explain this, I'm all ears. I've tried saying, "Some people are just not nice and do bad things." But he wants to know WHY.
You have a what?:
Since he NEVER mispronounces words anymore, I thought this was so cute...
He had a small cut on his finger and I saw that it was getting a little pink around it (like mildly infected), so I said, "Let me clean that cut and put a bandage on it, it looks like it is getting infected."
Maletch: "What's confected mommy?"
Me: "An infection is when germs get inside a cut and make it infected, which means it gets pink and swollen. We are supposed to keep our cuts clean and covered so germs can't get in"
Maletch: "Let's tell daddy my finger is confected."
Me: "OK, how about you tell daddy in the morning when you wake up."
Next morning, Maletch runs downstairs: "Daddy, I got confetti on my finger and it is confected, I have a confection!"
At the E.R. with Sariah (which is another story for another post, coming soon):
Maletch suddenly became very worried and upset... you know how sometimes children can feel guilt over things that are not at all their fault, I sensed that he was feeling guilty perhaps because he was the one who saw it happen- of course it was not at all his fault- and really- he saved her life because he saw it and was smart enough to tell me-- so I assured him, "Because of you, Sariah is going to be OK! You told mommy what happened, and we were able to come here and get help. You saved the day- and that makes you a hero!"
Maletch: "I am a hero?"
Me: "Oh yes you are!"
Maletch: "Like Batman?"
Me: "Yep!"
Maletch announced to daddy with such pride: "I'm a superhero, just like Batman!"
Watching Dancing with the Stars:
Maletch: "They are missing something."
Me: "What are they missing?"
Maletch: "Clothes!"
I started busting up laughing, because I hadn't really noticed the skimpy costumes.
Maletch added, "See that guy, he is missing a shirt and see that girl, she is missing.. (pause) umm.. well.. one pant."
Sure enough she had something wrapped around (going down) ONE leg, and her other leg was bare-- missing one pant, hahaha!
As soon as the dance was over (and they were walking off stage)...
Maletch: "They are going to find their clothes now and get dressed,"
Once they were in the back room and waiting/about to get their scores..
Maletch started yelling numbers excitedly (before the judges could say)..
Maletch said, "3,4,5!"
I guess because he got so many HUGE laughs out of me, he had fun pointing out everyone that were missing clothes throughout the rest of the show, and guessing scores (he does score everyone pretty low, LOL).
If you watch the show, it was the "Steve Urkel" guy (Jaleel White) and his partner (Kym). I'll see if I can upload a photo of their costumes.
"See that guy, he is missing a shirt, and see that girl, she is missing... one pant."
We dance to that show all the time and that was the first time he ever said anything like that- apparently they really needed to get dressed.Testing:
Another thing he does that is so funny, it is almost like out of a sitcom, like something a wife would do to her husband to see if he is really listening/paying attention:
He will ask you trick questions so that you can't say, "Uh huh... uh huh", or you will get something entirely wrong- to which he will reply "What????"
He does this entirely on purpose when he knows you are a little distracted (which is so rare- but he watches for it). In the middle of him talking, he'll ask a string of questions- like all of a sudden he'll ask, "Is Maleficent nice?" (the villain from Sleeping Beauty) and if you mutter, "Uh huh" - he'll call you out, "What??? Maleficent is not nice!" He knows when you are the slightest bit distracted, and he tests if you are listening!
It is so funny, because most of you know that he talks ALL day (literally) and I love it- we have very interesting conversations... BUT through all of his talking ALL day, I know I have to pay attention to EVERY word- or I'm busted!! As funny as it is, I wanted to warn everyone else too!
It made me realize that it hurts his feelings when people 'fake listen'- so I NEVER do that! Even though it is not possible to give him every second of undivided attention- I do try my best (which literally means I don't watch TV- or do any computer work while he is awake- EVER- no exaggeration) - and now when I know I need a minute to do something- I just say, "It's hard for mommy to do this and talk, let's talk about this as soon as I am finished." He likes that much better, and he doesn't test me anymore... but he may test you- so stay tuned OR speak up and announce when you are tuning out :)
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