The Things Maletch Says

All of these quotes are from last month (the week of his 2nd birthday) that I jotted down for his baby book, with the exception of one (which I noted was back at 15 months) but I threw in this post because it was funny for those that haven't heard it. I took quotes that either surprised me, or made me laugh (so- some are funnier than others).

When Maletch trips and bumps into anyone or anything, he always apologizes to them or it. I can't help but smile when I hear him apologize to a thing. I hear, "I'm sorry Percy!" (one of his toy trains) or, "I'm sorry dinosaur!"

One day while out running errands, I told Maletch where we would be going (to Target and to Jamba Juice where he would get to see the water fountain). Maletch was really excited about seeing the water. When we were leaving Target, I said, "Oh I just remembered, we need to go to the bank!" Maletch got concerned and asked if we would "go see the water?" So I explained, yes we would but we would go to the bank first, then the water fountain after. He responded by asking to "go see water first?"

I told Maletch, "It's bedtime." He went to the couch, laid down, and said "I'm sleeping" and made snoring noises (no idea where he learned that?)

A different night
Mommy: "Maletch, it's time for bed"
Maletch: "I'm going to sit down on the potty chair and go potty. I'm going to go potty in the potty chair. No more diapers, put on underwear! OK?"

Mommy: "Maletch, do you want a grilled cheese?"
Maletch: "How about a yogurt?"

One day he was hardly eating at all, and I was beginning to wonder what was going on. Maletch finally told me, "Belly don't feel good, tummy hurt!" (while he was rubbing his stomach). Sure enough he had to go diarrhea right at that moment, and poor boy had it for days. I was surprised he even knew how to tell me that!

Funny public restroom story:
When we are out in public, he is obsessed with pointing out the bathrooms in stores. He can somehow recognize the sign on the door, I guess. You would think that we use a lot of public restrooms by the way he has a knack for spotting them, but the truth is, he has been in them maybe a handful of times- ever. I avoid them if at all possible since they are so disgusting and he will inevitably touch everything. Well, he has to point out to EVERYBODY we pass in the store, "Bafroom is over there!" which may seem helpful except he follows by telling them, "You go poo-poo and potty on the potty chair in the bafroom!" Even when we get out of sight of the bathrooms, he will still do this pointing in the direction of where he saw it. He will sometimes talk about it the whole time we are in the store (including if we are on a aisle with the same person for a long time- he will tell them over and over and over) until mommy suggests a different topic he can discuss with them. If we have not seen the bathroom yet, he will ask me "Where's the bafroom?" repeatedly until we see it, then he will tell everyone where it is and what to do in it, LOL! It's hilarious and a little embarrassing! He has been doing this since he was 15 months (when we started introducing the potty chair at home) and for some reason he still loves to do this everyplace we go!

The other night he asked to "see mommy's penis?" (you can tell we are potty training, lol). When I explained mommy doesn't have one, he got a look of horror and confusion on his face. He was very freaked out (as if, that's impossible, and how do you go potty?) So then I had to explain to my 2 year old about the difference between boys and girls, lol. I'm sure the next thing I know he will be telling people that "mommy doesn't have a penis"

Another bathroom story, lol (this is the older story)
When he was first learning (about 15 months), he thought everything about the bathroom had to do with "poo-poo" (he didn't know "potty" yet). Well, we were at one of my scrapbook groups (at the store) and mommy had to go to the bathroom. So I asked Maletch if he wanted to stay with my friends or come with me (which I preferred him wait with them- so he wouldn't touch anything in there). Turns out he wanted to come with me- just to see where I was going- and then run back to them. Well he went back and told them "Mommy poo-poo bafroom" I came out and heard him talking about "poo-poo" so I asked him if he went poo-poo and if he needed a diaper. Everyone started laughing and said "No, he's talking about you- he said you went poo-poo!"

I was busy polishing his piano and drum set, and I heard the kitchen sink turn on (nothing unusual), he climbs up on the arm of the couch reaches through the kitchen window and turns on the faucet.... So mommy said the usual, "Maletch get down" . During that few minutes I heard him turn it off, when told- then back on a minute later- etc. Well, I finished and turned around just in time for him to tell me so proudly, "Mommy, I washed the trains with soap and water!" Mommy: "Oh no, you did what??" As he told me again, he proudly showed me how he helped me clean his toys. His trains were all lined up- all wet! These were his expensive wooden Thomas trains with electric parts--- 60 bucks of trains stopped working. I felt sorry for him because he thought he did such a good thing!

He is used to daddy giving hair cuts, but daddy was at work, and he was over-due and we were going to Disneyland soon.... so I decided I would do it. I started with the scissors- which apparently are NOT what daddy uses, he uses clippers- and Maletch "knows" how this is supposed to work, because when I started cutting he said, "Stop it mommy!" He was squirming and resisted the scissors (so I thought he must be 'difficult' during haircuts), but when I got out the clippers (only to make it go faster), he smiled and said, "Right!" and then he sat completely still for the haircut.

We were in Toys R Us
Maletch: "Baby is crying!"
Mommy: "Yes, you're right the baby is crying."
Maletch: "Stop fussing baby!"
He received so much attention for this from the ladies in the store that thought it was hilarious. I think they were annoyed by the crying and they said things like, "Yeah, that's right, you tell him to stop fussing!"

Getting ready to leave the house I knew I was forgetting something. Maletch said, "Get the keys!" He was right, they were hanging on the key rack- which is where he was pointing.
Another time he was waiting on me to get our stuff packed to leave, he told me, "Get mommy's purse."

One night he asked me to get the keys down from the rack, when I handed them to him, he said, "Bye bye mommy!" and headed for the front door. I asked, "Where are you going?" He said, "To work!"

In the middle of a meal, he always asks, "Wash my hands?" in between courses- example, he won't want to touch his peaches when he has taco sauce on his hands. (I guess he doesn't like to mix flavors). He will also tell me throughout the meal when he makes a mess, "Oh no, tacos make a mess!" He will wipe down the table, his sippy cup, and any toys on the table with the washcloth if I set it down- while saying "I clean the mess!"

Maletch was excited because we were all getting ready to go 'bye bye in the car.' While I grabbed a few last minute things, daddy walked out the door to put some things in the car. Maletch went tearing after John, and yelled "DADDY!" he chased him out the door, when daddy turned around Maletch said, "Wait for mommy!"

We were all at one of my doctor's appointments, (to see a new orthopedic surgeon) meaning he had to do a full exam on me since I was a new patient with him. While the doctor was bending my hands, wrist, and fingers in all kind of ways- Maletch seemed really nervous and finally exclaimed, "Oh no, hurting mommy! Mommy's hurt!" He sprang up and started to grab the doctors hand (like to stop him), when the doc turned to look at him, he got scared, but he didn't freeze up, he grabbed daddy's hand and pulled hard towards the doctor, and was going to make daddy stop him! After we explained that the doctor wasn't hurting mommy, he still didn't trust it completely. So, he "copied" the doctor and did everything to daddy that the doctor did to me- to make sure it didn't hurt. I'm not kidding- when the doctor bent my middle finger back, my wrist- he did it exactly to daddy's hand! What a sweetheart- he has mommy's back, LOL!